Opposites attract?

[Willy]

In a relationship, do you feel that opposites will go well together? Or u would prefer someone who is very similar to you? Let 's face the fact, most people will find opposite to be extremely exciting at first. But after sometime. the diverse views and values may ruin the relationship u have build up in the first place. What would u choose? 

[quills]

hi willy,

interesting topic... any reason why u bring this up? 

just a thought, if the diverse views and values may ruin the relationship a couple have build up in the first place, then there's no point to be in a relationship isn't it?
why suffocate? that means they've betrayed one another already.

relationship is more than just mating and to produce the next generation (though i don't have anything against that), but it's about compromise and putting the concept of "we" before "i".

i don't think it matters whether the couple have similar characteristic or totally different.
as long as  they "know".

what do u all think?

[oley]

Arghhhh its so hard to find the perfect match!!!!! Just gif me someone who love me only and super nice to me! 

[Ken]

Hi all,

The start of all relationship started from some form of attraction.  It is more common to be attracted to someone who is different from us because most humans experience some form of sense of ectasy trying something new.  That is why some married people have affairs even though their spouse looks better.

However, if we have some knowledge of psychology, some people are more attracted to people that are similar to them because such people manifest themselves.  This group of people are likely those that self-idolise.

My view is that long term which types of choice of a partner still boils down to the nature of the similiarity and difference.  For example, if one is a patient fellow while the other is impatient, they could yet complement each other because one can calm the impatient partner, while the other can boost the speed of the patient partner.

It is hard to put all such character differences exactly in words but I will use an analogy.  If one is a T-shaped character and matched with a U-shaped character, despite being markedly different they are a perfect complement to each other.  If it involves the case of a A-shaped paired with a B-shaped, no matter how they match, they will definitely be mismatch.  An exact similar partner may also not be a good matched at times.  For example, the T match with another T will at best become an I-shaped block, which is not a good match because it is vulnerable in the center.

[devadog]

I quite agree with the spirit of what quills and Ken have written....which I take as:

It's not whether you are similar or opposite that matters, it's what you do with it that's important.

[pentan3008]

Actually I was taught that you should find your partner/spouse to have your favourable elemnts in their ba zi charts. The best would be that you also have their favourable elements. So that we can benefit each other. Now true is this I don't know.

[flexon]

I agreed, that 's what I have learnt.
Maybe someone can verify this?

[quills]

mmm...
that's what they did in ancient time in China isn't it?...
always need matchmaker to find the best match for them, matching their birth time and date, meeting their husbands/ wives on the wedding ceremony.
but i don't think you can do that anymore now.

imagine when you meet a girl. first thing you ask "when's your birthday?"
girl: "why?"
boy: "oh, cos you attract my attention and i want to see if your element would be favorable for me or not. that way we won't have to waste our time and we can get married straight away."
girl: "..... okay..." (run away).

isn't knowing bazi meant to teach you how to find your strength and weakness and work it out together?
doesn't matter what u're like or what he's like.

If you follow bazi or any other chart all the way through your life, wouldn't you be like a machine who live without your heart?
bazi for couple is meant for them to understand each other.

that's why it is an art. because you need to connect it with reality.
just like paintings and art movies. they're not only images and techniques, they actually MEAN something.
it's unlike engineering or accounting with all exact equations and its answers, you can actually play around with art.

hahhaa... i sounded like a smart-a**... sorry just expressing what i think is all.

[shaunna]

Can I put my two cents in here?   Even if your Bazi's compliment each other that doesn't mean the person will actually compliment you. They may have extremely different tastes in music, entertainment, life goals...

[Keenlearner]

I agree with what Ken said.
My husband and I are opposites in a lot of things, .e.g. he likes rock songs while I like sentimentals.
But in some ways, our thinking are the same, e.g. how kids should behave in the public.
Just my 2 cents. 

[capriken]

From ZWDS perspective, husband and wife usually share the same Self Matrix.

Hardly see husband/wife with different Self Matrix star structures.

There was a Christian saint (quoting the philosophy, not the religion) that quoted three things important in life, which is "Faith, Hope, and Love".

IMHO, a relationship needs faith from two parties to form together as husband/wife. Hope from both parties to continue in times of adversity. Then Love comes unconditionally from faith and hope.

[Ken]

Hi capriken,

This is a good point and something I also subscribe to.

There's always a lot of questions about compatibility or not between couples. 

Some Ba Zi practitioners say that as long as your Ba Zi elements make up the shortfall in the other's elements make up, it will be a good match.  This is very misleading as it does not even consider the character. 

[lcly77]

I will say that if my BaZi is lack of Fire, the opposites with a lot of Fire will attracts me. This is 'attracts' only and not "love". So, the 'attracted' relationship will be the merciless type and taking advantage of each other. However, 'love' is sentimental type.

How to check if BaZi shows my partner is 'attracting' me or 'loves' me?
Prince Charles and Princess Diana is 'attracted' relationship and later she found her 'love' ones. You can see this from her BaZi chart.

Nowadays, I can say that 90% of human beings are 'attracted' to each other instead of 'love'. I've read some of my friends chart and it tells me they are attracted to each other and got married later on divorced.

[lcly77]

imagine when you meet a girl. first thing you ask "when's your birthday?"
girl: "why?"
boy: "oh, cos you attract my attention and i want to see if your element would be favorable for me or not. that way we won't have to waste our time and we can get married straight away."
girl: "..... okay..." (run away).

Hi quills

If the girl ran away, in BaZi perspective, it is already telling you that guy BaZi is not attractive to the girl - so she ran away!

Why do I make this conclusion? Have you ever try to analyse 130+ employees in a company? It will tells you the answer of the word "attracts".

[Willy]

Interesting, have u ever done such an experiment b4?